That's So Sher!

break down while blogging. real swift dad. real swift. i dont know what to say. what i had 15 years ago is not coming back. have u ever hated somebody so much u just wish that u werent born? every drop of tears i shed this year was only meant for u! i hate u so much i even constantly cursing myself that i shouldnt exist in this world. someday, i'm going to be numbed and tears are going to dry up. when that day arrived, u'll loose me. please dont make that day come. some of u might say that i'm not filial. guess what, i dont care anymore. i've tried, and done trying. plus, i dont know how it feels to be loved by dad. so i see that explains why i always feel so empty for whatever i'm doing. that explains why i feel i'm doing everything for nothing. such ironic that i have to use alcohol to numb myself . yet, such ironic that i cant get drunk easily. do u feel the pain? nah... its getting more numb as day pass. FML. he can fml, she can fml, they can fml, but u fml the most. too bad i'm not the one u thought i'm gonna be. cause the world will be boring if i do. so please screw me, screw everything. the soul's not here anymore, it has gone to somewhere far, u cant catch it back. screw me one more time and u'll lose me. are u willing to risk this chance? do i need to explain more what i'm going to do? ONE MORE TIME AND I'M GONE. FOREVER.